Sex at Work
Copyright 2008
Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 UNLAWFUL EMPLOYMENT PRACTICES
SEC. 2000e-2. [Section 703]
(a) It shall be an unlawful employment practice for an employer -
(1) to fail or refuse to hire or to discharge any individual, or otherwise to discriminate against any individual with respect to his compensation, terms, conditions, or privileges of employment, because of such individual's race, color, religion, sex, or national origin; or
(2) to limit, segregate, or classify his employees or applicants for employment in any way which would deprive or tend to deprive any individual of employment opportunities or otherwise adversely affect his status as an employee, because of such individual's race, color, religion, sex, or national origin.
In 1980 the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) issued regulations defining sexual harassment and stating it was a form of sex discrimination prohibited by the Civil Rights Act of 1964. In the 1986 case of Meritor Savings Bank v. Vinson, the Supreme Court first recognized sexual harassment as a violation of Title VII.
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Gosh, do you think that Levystien can think of anything funny to say in regards to sexual harassment?
To be honest, I must disclose that I have been the victim of sexual harassment myself. One time I was working in the hospital and I wanted to have sex with a nurse. I could not find one single nurse that would even consider having sex with me. Then, I went to a party and I heard one of them say, "Dr. Levystien is soooo sex deprived." Can you imagine the shame I experienced?
Of course, I agree that any actual damage inflicted on anyone by anyone else is not good. However, there is a very thin line between sexual advances versus sexual harassment. This chapter will explore these differences.
First, I would like to point out that we do not descend from men who ignored women, nor do we descend from men who were monogamous or who were shy about making sexual advances. We descend from men who saw, pursued, and conquered. We descend from fuckers. What’s more, we descend from those fuckers who pursued and conquered the most.
On the other hand, no deity ever declared, “Men should rule women.” The reason we live in a patriarchal society is not grounded in reason or logic. The reason that men have traditionally ruled women is very simple. It is because they could.
It is the same reason that women have traditionally made men think that the men were the ones who ruled. It is because they could.
It is also why men have traditionally let women think that they are making the men think that they are in charge so the men could really be in charge...and so on...and so on...
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As an aside, I would like to discuss one minority group that is so "dissed" that it didn't even make the Title VII short list. Most people mistrust the members of this minority group and almost nobody ever listens to them or gives them credit for having anything valuable to say. Yes, I'm talking about Intelligent People. They are referred to in the literature as IPs.
An IP often possesses a perfectly reasonable idea and, in fact, frequently has a superior idea compared to most people. Yet, he or she will routinely be marginated, neglected, insulted, and almost never taken seriously.
At the Levystien Institute for Neglected Intelligent People (LINIP) we are often confronted with the sad case of an individual who tried to make a difference but was destroyed by simple minded prejudice. We commonly refer to this as the Kerry Condemnation. Should you or anyone you know suffer from Kerry Condemnation, I urge you to call: 1-800-WE B DUMB.
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In regards to sex at work, let me start by giving you the official Levystien position:
In order for there to be sexual harassment there must be actual damage done and there must be actual malicious behavior.
Of course, I would advise anyone to keep any sexual remarks or behavior out of the work place altogether but that would require us to undo millions of years of evolution. It would also make the work place sterile, boring, and unnatural. So, when is a joke or innuendo or hug or facial expression related to loss of job, loss of promotion, or loss of raise, etc.?
First, you must show that actual damage was done. There must be, for example, a job loss without clear reason. Then, there must be some evidence beyond simple hearsay that an individual in a position that was responsible for the damage said or did anything that was sexually demeaning or sexually provocative towards the damaged individual.
Is there anyone who would disagree with any of that?
Now, let's look at some examples and you decide if it is sexual harassment or not. At the end of the chapter there will be a scorecard to let you know what Levystien thinks. OK, screw-it...why don't you scroll down and look at the score card now...if you wish...or not.
THE LEVYSTIEN LIST OF POSSIBLY HARASSING SEXUAL SITUATIONS
1. You are an attractive young woman who is finishing her acting degree at Northwestern University. During the summer you obtain work as an intern on the set of a movie in Hollywood. One of the leading men in this particular movie approaches you and says,
"How you doin'?"
(a.) Is it sexual harassment if it is this actor?
(b.) Is it sexual harassment if it is this actor?
Clint Eastwood is the "Good" and that other guy is the "Ugly" from the movie entitled, "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly." I could have really screwed you up if I had included the "Bad." he...he...OK, let's move on to situation number two.
2. You are an attractive young woman in her mid twenties who is going for her first examination by a new gynecologist. The nurse steps out of the room for only a moment but during that brief period of time the doctor suggests that you go with him to dinner this evening at a romantic little spot near the lake.
(a.) What is it called if it is one of these doctors?
(b.) What is it called if it is this doctor?
Most men look like a stooge but perceive themselves as looking like Mel Gibson. When they are making a sexual advance they think it will be appreciated as if they were, in fact, Mel Gibson. They are rejected because they are, in fact, a stooge. Then, they become angry. Here is the critical juncture between a harmless advance and sexual harassment. Consider this: A.) Does the man "let it lie" or does he become aggressive? and B.) Has the advance been to a woman in a lower position of power and was it perceived by her as threatening? Hmmm…
3. You are a 23 year old man who recently graduated from LSU and you want to attend law school. You have been fortunate enough to get a summer job as a paige in the Louisiana State House of Representatives. A fifty-three year old congresswoman who clearly used to be very pretty has taken you under her wing and promised to help you get into law school. Late one night in her office while working on some legal documents she says, "Have sex with me and I'll make it worth your while."
You might think that any 23 year old man would jump at the chance to have sex and get into law school...right? However, think about it, this isn't a congresswoman who has lofty morals and high ethical standards. She is likely selfish and self-centered. What if you perform well and she wants more? What if she gets you into law school and wants something in return? Perhaps, you "goin' ta be owin' da man"...or in dis case..."da woman."
So, is this sexual harassment?
4. A fifteen year old girl is under the football stands with a 43 year old man who forces her to have sex with him at gun point. Is this sexual harassment?
5. You are a 31 year old woman who would like to be promoted. However, your friend who is significantly more beautiful and who is having sex with the boss on a regular basis is getting the advancements that you so rightly deserve. Is this sexual harassment?
6. You are a 17 year old girl who has a summer job as a receptionist at the national headquarters for Barnes and Nobles booksellers. You are strictly Catholic and you find the seven words you can't say on television to be extremely offensive. Suddenly, Levystien barges out of your boss's office yelling, "You won't sell my books because they are too fucking intelligent and you mostly cater to idiots!! You fucking moron!!! This is a piece of shit…no, I’ll tell you what this is…this is a little fucking pimple on the penis of a fucking elephant who is being butt fucked by a God-damned squirrel who is telling you to go to fucking hell!!! I'm out of here!"
OK, is that sexual harassment even though Levystien didn't even notice the young maiden?
7. You are an average looking young woman and you are minding your own business in your own cubicle when all of a sudden you hear a deep sensual voice that says, "Your breasts are so soft and supple. I just love touching them. You always smell so wonderful and I love you so much. I want to make love to you right here and right now."
You are getting all hot and bothered when you suddenly realize that you left the intercom on and you are listening to your boss in his office with his wife. Is this sexual harassment?
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If you think that I am making this stuff up and that sexual harassment is not that big of a deal consider these actual statistics:
In Fiscal Year 2007, EEOC received 12,510 charges of sexual harassment. 16.0% of those charges were filed by males. EEOC resolved 11,592 sexual harassment charges in FY 2007 and recovered $49.9 million in monetary benefits for charging parties and other aggrieved individuals (not including monetary benefits obtained through litigation).
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8. You are a 45 year old female EEOC attorney and your superior tells you graphically of his own sexual prowess. Then he says, "Who has put pubic hair on my Coke?" Is this sexual harassment?
9. You are the president of the United States and a young female intern offers to give you a blow job. Even though you have not been unfaithful to your wife in over 18 months you allow the indiscretion. Is this sexual harassment? And who exactly is the one being harassed?
10. An attractive woman works for a professional basketball team and for a former star player who calls her "bitch" and "ho" and tells her that she is hot and tries to kiss her. Then, she is fired from this $260,000.00/yr job because she tries to organize other female employees to support her claim of sexual harassment. Is this sexual harassment?
Scorecard 1. (a.) Yes, this is definite sexual harassment. (b.) not so much 2. (a.) extreme sexual harassment (b.) a wonderful invitation
3. Yes, this is most definitely sexual harassment. You might as well go on and get screwed 'cause if you turn down this bitch, then I guarantee you will get screwed.
4. No, dumb-shit, this is rape, statutory rape, and aggravated rape.
5. Damn straight! Sexual harassment goes both ways including sideways.
6. Unfortunately, this is sexual harassment. I'm still trying to sort this one out in my own mind.
7. This is not sexual harassment. This is eavesdropping, spying, or flat out stalking. Come on, you saw her go in there. You knew what they were doing.
8. Levystien says no, but I don't like Clarence Thomas for other reasons.
9. No harm, no foul. Everyone except Hillary needs to get over it.
10. One New York jury thought so, they gave her 11.6 million in damages.
Ironically, it was not sexual harassment until they fired her so the jury blamed the Nicks more than Isiah Thomas. However, we the fans blamed Isiah more simply because that was much more fun than blaming the Nicks.
Sex in Marriage
